Why Askholes Drain Us ~ How to Spot Them Fast and Make Extra Money from Home this Fall

We all know the type.. those friends, coworkers, or family members who ask for advice, soak up your time, nod their heads like they're listening... and then do the exact opposite of what you suggested. Over and over again. Welcome to the world of Complainers, Venters, & Askholes.

This came up in a "after hours" discussion after a training Zoom the other night. You know the ones where just our select besties don't log off right away.. There were lots of laughs, eye-rolls, one of those conversations that’s equal parts funny and frustrating, filled with head nods, and yep, been there too moments. So I decided to bring it here to offer some lessons, stories, and strategies that can help us all protect our energy and serve our friends, online circle without sacrificing our sanity.

What’s the Real Difference Between Venting & Complaining?

I’m a cheerleader by nature. If you know me, you know I lead with a sunshine-filled heart, love to empower women, and believe in lifting others up with positivity and real-deal support. So when someone brings me their struggles or dreams, ideas, endless creativity and answers just bubble up inside me and overflow!

But here's what I’ve learned:

🔸 Venters need a safe place to release emotion. They’re not asking for solutions. They just want to be heard, held, and seen. It's actually healthy to vent and let off steam in a "safe place/space".

🔸 Complainers, on the other hand, often live in a loop. Same stories, same drama, no real interest in change. The squeaky wheel that wants the attention.

When I was younger, I didn’t understand why I’d feel drained, moody, or even physically sick (hello migraine!!) after certain conversations or around certain people for too too long. Now I get it. Constant exposure to negative energy hearing the same old same old wears us down.

If you're the go-to fixer-upper girl in your circle, this is your sign to start paying attention to the energy leaks aka little vampires who will suck your "good energy dry".

Fall is the perfect season for taking stock. 🍁As the golden leaves drop, let that be a nudge to shed and release what’s not working for you too.

Why Askholes Drain Us (and How to Spot Them Fast)

Askholes are the gals who ask for your help on repeat, get your best advice, and then ignore every word. They might come to you teary-eyed, asking about business strategies to make more money or relationship help or health products... but no matter how kind, thoughtful, or practical your answer is, they go do their own thing. They never follow through, they never take your advice, and they never buy your "lotion or potion".

Think of your thoughtful words, solutions, ideas going into the void of a black hole .. It's the same thing with Askholes...

It’s not just frustrating. It’s exhausting. Because when we show up with heart and time and energy to help, and it’s brushed off or tossed aside, it stings.

Here’s the truth: Askholes don’t need answers. They need boundaries.

✅ Share a link or tool, not your brain on a platter. (your Blog, or YouTube)
✅ Send them to Google, or a freebie instead of solving it all for them.
✅ Remind yourself, their choices are not your responsibility.

These convos tend to bubble up during fall reset season, especially when we’re thinking about how to make extra money from home and protect our peace, creating more profits while doing it.

Helpful or Hooked? How to Support Without Sacrificing Your Sanity

We’re natural helpers. But helping doesn't mean becoming their emotional sponge.

1. Ask Better Questions
Instead of giving them the answers, building out their whole plan of action .. try asking:

• “What do YOU think you should do?”
• “What would your future self thank you for doing?”
• “What would your mentor or role model say right now?”

Let them do the mental work. You’re not their unpaid life coach.

2. Set Time Boundaries
A simple “I’ve got about 10 minutes before I need to jump into something” keeps you from being hijacked.

3. Protect Your Peace
If it’s always the same drama, different day, it’s okay to step back.

4. Listen to Your Body
Your body keeps the score. Tense jaw? Furrowed brow? Crossing your arms? Reaching for your pumpkin spice like it’s armor? Your nervous system is waving a little red flag. Pause. Breathe. Reset. Step away if needed.

Sometimes a quick walk through the crisp fall air, or even standing up and stretching, helps break the emotional hold. 🍂Golden leaves aren’t the only things that need to fall away.

When Helping Hurts: Real Talk for Empathetic Women

If you’re a woman with a big heart, a helper, a do-er, a mentor, womanpreneur or someone who shows up for others, this matters.

You don’t have to carry it all.
You don’t need to fix everything.
You don’t owe everyone access to your brain, your heart, or your most precious time.

Let this fall be the season you:

• Reclaim your schedule
• Refocus your energy
• Save your YES for women ready to take action

Just because you’re kind, a "nice girl" doesn’t mean you’re a doormat. And just because they ask doesn’t mean you’re required to answer and provide the solution "again" !!

It’s okay to say: “Hey, I’m not available for that right now.”
Or: “I’ve got a few tools that might help, feel free to take a look.”

Let’s keep it real. You deserve peace, purpose, and a profitable money-making plan that doesn’t cost you your mental health.

Want to Earn Online Without Taking on Other People’s Chaos?

I’ve created a way to earn income that respects my boundaries, my calendar, and my energy.

Whether you're sipping cider in your flannel or planning goals by a candle while the wind howls outside, fall is the season to rethink how you make money online from home.

📲 Discover how I set boundaries, earned income and reclaimed my calendar.

Click for my digital marketing blueprint.

This isn’t about hustle. This is about flow. This system is done for you. Less stress. More bless. Simple automations, pre-prepped content, and full ownership of your efforts. 100 percent profits. Zero overthinking.

If you’re ready to make extra money online this fall without the follow-up fatigue, emotional drain, or overwhelm, you’re not alone.

Let’s make space for what lights us up.
Let’s set the tone for fall freedom.
Let’s choose peace over pressure, and profits that align with who we are.

🌻Cheers, chat soon, Roxanne
& see you on the sunny side of life

Ps ... Your free gift today .. My Faith based reflection journal 🌟.. it's free to download 🦋

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