No More Drama Mama: How to Protect Your Time & Energy & Make Extra Money from Home

We all know the type... our friends, coworkers, women in our business circles or even family members who ask for advice, soak up our time, nod their heads like they’re listening to us... and then do the exact opposite of what we suggested. Over and over again. Welcome to the world of Complainers, Venters, and Askholes.

This came up in one of those “after hours” Zoom chats.. when the training is over, but the real talk begins, the. The kind where a few of us stay behind, sip peppermint tea or spiced mulled wine, kick off our fuzzy socks, and dive into the crazy kinds of conversations that are as healing as they are hilarious. The stuff where we say what's heavy in our hearts, the stuff we say inside our heads and let it all out. The truth bombs flew. Our eye-rolls were synchronized. And we all had that been there moment.

So I decided to bring it here. Because these moments and patterns don’t just affect our social circles.. they affect our businesses, our mental health, how we "show up" in our day, how we communicate with others and our energy levels. Let’s "unpack the types", the triggers, and some of the solutions so we can keep helping others without losing ourselves (or our minds) in the process.

What’s the Real Difference Between Venting and Complaining?

I’m a cheerleader by nature. If you know me at, you know I lead with a sunshine-filled heart, love empowering women, and believe in lifting others up with practical positivity. I'm one of the crazy ones who know deep inside; there is enough success and sunshine for ALL of us entrepreneurial women out here.. So when someone brings me their struggles or dreams, ideas and answers just bubble up inside me.

But over the years, I’ve learned there’s a huge difference between someone needing a safe space to vent.. and someone constantly draining our emotional gas tank.

🔸 Venters are often self-aware. They just need to say it out loud. They decompress emotionally and often say, “Thanks—I feel better just saying it out loud.” We can see the "release" in our friends body language, with no words needed. Venting can be healing when there’s a the "right ears" to fall upon, a purpose, and mutual respect. It clears emotional fog so they can see what step to take next. Verbally processing opens those doors and windows of our minds that prior to "letting it all out" were closed.

🔸 How to support a healthy Venter? Try asking: “Do you want me to listen or help solve?” and set a gentle boundary: “I’ve got about 15-20 minutes.. want to unload a little? Give it to me”. Our role is just to be that safe place and space our friend needs.

🔸 Complainers, though, are stuck in a rinse-repeat loop. Same drama, different day. They aren’t looking for support.. they’re looking for an audience. They resist change, minimize suggestions, and deflect accountability. The "woe is me" and pat their hand.. The world is against them and there is nothing they can do to fix it. At their inner core, they seek validation, a nod of agreement from you.. In the way that confirms their victim status. That’s emotional vampirism.

💣 Energy Vampire Alert: If you walk away feeling exhausted or like your inner light just got dimmed.. check for complainer energy.

What they really want is a co-signer, not a coach. But we aren’t here to co-sign drama. Especially not this fall, when golden leaves remind us it’s time to release what no longer serves us.

Set clear limits:

• “Hey, I’ve got about 10 minutes, what’s up?”
• Don’t solve.. redirect: “Sounds tough. What’s your game plan?”
• Be honest: “I’ve noticed we talk about this a lot. Do you want some ideas or support to help or you good?”

Your sanity matters more than smoothing things over.

PS .. 🔗 Related read: about Superwoman Syndrome noted above.. this is a great read to help support this topic!

Let’s Talk Askholes (Yep, You Know One)

Here’s the thing about Askholes: They seem like they want help. They ask to “pick our brain,” reach out when they’re stuck, and say things like, “You’re so good at this.. can I get your thoughts?” And because we care, we pour our hearts, knowledge, and time into them.

And then... they ghost us. Or worse.. do the exact opposite. Or come back next week with the same issue.

👀 That’s the moment we realize: We’re not helping them.. we’re being used.

Askholes don’t need another plan. They need a mirror and a boundary. They thrive on the attention and ego boost of asking. But it’s a one-way street. No gratitude. No growth. No action. If you’ve been on the receiving end, you know it feels like emotional whiplash.

Here’s how to deal:

✅ Share a link or tool, not your brain on a platter.
✅ Offer a “one-time help pass,” then back away.
✅ Say, “I trust you’ll figure it out,” and mean it.
✅ Create a simple, no-access zone: “That’s not something I offer anymore.”

The sassier version?
"I’ve given you all the good ideas I have .. I'm not seeing how I can help"

And if you’re feeling spicy:
"I’ve given you all the tips and resources I have.. Maybe it's time to take it to the next level and speak to a different professional."

This fall, evict the emotional squirrels in your attic .. cute but destructive.

Drama is a Distraction & Negativity Will Get You Nowhere

Ever wonder why people complain or seek advice but refuse to act on it?

Psychologically, chronic complainers and Askholes seek reassurance and validation rather than real solutions. Their identity is rooted in their problems.. solving them would mean losing the attention and sympathy they receive. It's not solutions they're after, but emotional validation and companionship in their misery.

Their negativity can create a false sense of connection or intimacy, but it’s ultimately toxic and distracting for women like you and I. We’re not obligated to participate. Protecting our energy isn’t rude.. it’s responsible. Negativity is draining, unproductive, and will sabotage our emotional and financial goals if allowed to thrive unchecked.

Choose peace over drama. It’s a form of self-care.. and financial clarity.

When Helping Hurts: Real Talk for Empathetic Women

If you’re a mentor, coach, or just the “go-to girl” in your life, you’ve probably found yourself over-investing in people who aren’t ready. And it leaves you running on empty.

Remember:

• You don’t have to carry everyone.
• You’re not responsible for fixing what isn’t yours.
• Your yes is sacred.. reserve it for people who show up, not just speak up.

You can still be kind and compassionate and say:

• “I’m not available for that right now.”
• “Here’s a link I found helpful.. wishing you the best with it!”

You are allowed to protect your peace. You are allowed to walk away. You are allowed to leave the group chat, the marco polo, the Facebook group, email subscriptions, ect ect ect..

This fall:
🍂 Reclaim our energy
🍂 Reinforce our boundaries
🍂 Rewire habits of over-helping

Black Friday Without Burnout

While others scramble through holiday shopping chaos, you could be sipping apple-spiced cider, calmly watching your “Black Friday freedom fund” grow, thanks to your quiet side hustle. Skip the chaos and build quiet cash.

November isn’t just for shopping lists, apple crumble, and turkey stuffing. It’s for refocusing on what matters, our peace, purpose, and profits that don’t require us to sacrifice our sanity.

PS .. 🔗 Related read: Ambivert Alert! Ever feel drained after being the life of the party? You might be an ambivert.. energized by connection yet craving quiet. Discover how to honor your energy, embrace your rhythm, & still make extra money from home without losing your sanity this fall. We're not weird; we're wired differently! 🍂..

Ready to Earn With Less Stress?

I’ve found a simpler, straightforward way to create income online, that "make extra money from home" without the emotional drain, the time sinks, tire-kickers, constant recruiting or endless team training. I wrote a Digital Marketing for Beginners Blueprint.. is specifically designed for women who are ready to take action.. women who crave clear, step-by-step guidance without having to hand-hold, convince, or feel compelled to carry others.

This system comes fully equipped with done for you programs, 100% profits paid instantly, automated tools, completed email sequences that offer details, handle objections for you, that attracts motivated women rather than complainers or Askholes.

✅ Less stress, more bless
✅ 100% profits, zero drama
✅ No being stuck in your DMs or glued to screens
✅ A business built for action-takers, not tire-kickers

📲Discover how you can earn extra money online this fall, aligned, grounded, and completely drama-free. Thanksgiving dinner is paid for, Black Friday shopping taken care of and you're ahead of the game for Santa's wish list.. All you have left to do is make the snickerdoodle cookies, pour the mulled wine and finish the holiday Thanksgiving decor filled with gratitude!

Your path doesn’t need the drama mama or endless DMs.. just intentional choices, healthy boundaries, & a business designed around your peace. Here's to a fall season filled with clarity, confidence, & make money from home income on your terms.

🌻 Cheers and chat soon, Roxanne
(& see you on the sunny side of life ☀️)

PS: If this made you smile and nod your head .. 🍂You're invited to hit that subscribe button and share this forward to a friend in need. Keep scrolling, reading and come back and visit me any time! And of course I'd love to hear your thoughts, drop me a comment!

PPS: Your free gift today .. My Faith based reflection journal 🌟.. it's free to download 🦋

Boring Legal Jargon: This blog contains affiliate links. But only for programs I truly love and use in my day. 💛